My gold star is better than yours
by ohhidontknow
Summary: AU, Quinn's coming to terms with her sexuality and transfers to Rachel's college as a junior. Rachel helps her...begin to figure things out, let's just say.
1. new places, new faces

**AU**... Quinn and Rachel have no history previous to college. T for now, mostly due to swear words popping up here and there and probably some sex stuff later on...(a lot later on, don't get too excited yet...)

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><p>With a sigh, Quinn sprawled back onto her bed. She put her hands behind her head, staring up at the blank ceiling above her and trying not to think.<p>

…An attempt that lasted for about 60 seconds, considering she thought it was pretty possible she'd just made the worst decision of her life.

"Quinn?"

The soft voice came from the foot of the bed. Her bed was raised in the air enough that she had to crane her neck forward at an awkward angle to see who was there.

"Hi," she said uncomfortably to the short brunette standing there, not really knowing the protocol for introducing yourself to someone who's room you'd just taken over. "Yeah, that's me. You're Kaila, right?"

"Yep, and this is Ashlyn," Kaila replied with a calm but unreadable expression on her face, producing a slightly taller, darker skinned girl from beside her.

"Hey," Ashlyn responded without any enthusiasm.

"Um, we're about to head out for a bit, but we'll be back for dinner if you want to come," Kaila said smoothly, glancing at Ashlyn who nodded in agreement with a short smile. Quinn just nodded slightly as both girls watched and then left the room with only a small wave from Kaila.

When she flopped back down on the bed, all she could think was _I'd rather be anywhere but here._

But she was stuck.

Quinn Fabray had made the (somewhat rash, according to her family's standards of doing things) decision to transfer out of Ohio State University and move to Boston the spring of her sophomore year.

This had come about a year after discovering that despite all of her best attempts, she could no longer push down all of the feelings she'd been having that seemed to suggest an alternate sexuality to the one she had always been expected to have. She wasn't sure what it meant nor had she been able to completely accept it yet, but all she could think for the majority of her second year of college was that Ohio State was not the best place to try and figure everything out.

When she had suggested an all-girls school to her parents they had been thrilled, to say the least. No boys? Nothing to worry about with their pristine, Christian, supposed-to-be-celibacy seeking daughter. This one component was probably what had overridden the announcement that she was moving across the country only a few short months later. She applied and was easily accepted to Smithson College in Boston for the following fall semester, and before long she was packing her bags and on a plane. It was a better school, hopefully a better environment, and just far enough away from her parents and hometown that she could pretend they didn't exist - just for a little while, if she needed to.

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><p>A knock came at the door approximately thirteen minutes after Quinn had fallen asleep. With a groan and a sudden sense of self-consciousness – had she drooled in her sleep? What did her hair look like? – she rolled herself not-so-gracefully out of bed before swiping her hands over her hair and heading to the door as a second knock came.<p>

"Jeez, okay I'm coming," she muttered under her breath and swung open the door.

Apparently still not quietly enough, however, as the short brunette she found standing there looked slightly offended but mostly just embarrassed.

"I-I'm sorry, when I didn't hear anything I wasn't sure I had been loud enough so I decided to knock again…were you sleeping?" the girl said in a rush and all Quinn could do was blink.

Despite the fact that she was wearing an argyle sweater and the most hideous bunny slippers she had ever seen, Quinn was mildly dumbstruck at just how adorable her…neighbor?...was.

"Um…hi…what? No, I mean…yes, I was, but it's fine, er I should've been getting up anyway…um, who are you?" Quinn managed to mumble, the tips of her ears turning pink as she stumbled over the last words and then mentally slapping herself for sounding so rude. "Sorry, that wasn't exactly how I meant it…"

"No, it's fine," the girl giggled softly (oh, jeez, that just made her even cuter). "I just heard that someone had transferred into Sarah's room, and I thought I would come introduce myself…I live down the hall, 314. I was a transfer last year, and it was kind of scary meeting people, so…plus I brought brownies!" Quinn could honestly say that with all of the not-staring at Rachel that she'd been doing that she had somehow failed to notice the plate of brownies resting primly on her hands.

"Wow, thanks," Quinn finally managed a smile to go along with the blush that was now spreading to her cheeks. "So you know…Sarah? I've only met Kaila and Ashlyn. Sorry, did you want to come in?"

"Sure!" the girl seemed surprised but pleased at being asked. "I'm Rachel, by the way. And you are…?"

"Quinn!" Quinn burst out, a little too eagerly when she realized how stupid she'd been to not introduce herself at the beginning…and now the blush was full force over her entire face. Oh god.

"Nice to meet you, Quinn," Rachel replied, seemingly attempting to hide her laughter behind a grin. It was infectious and Quinn found herself smiling back for the first time that day as well.

"Are you friends with everyone?" Quinn asked after she had composed herself again, gesturing to the room.

Rachel looked uncomfortable for the first time at this, but then shrugged. "Not really. Sarah and I are both theater majors so we're friendly, but…" she paused and glanced towards the two bedrooms surrounding the common room they were in.

"They just left," Quinn jumped in and Rachel nodded before continuing.

"I don't know. I guess…you could just say that Ashlyn and Kaila…are a part of very different social circles than I am. I met them through Sarah last year and we all hung out a few times but…no, we're not particularly friendly. Which isn't to say all of Smithson is like that – cliquey, I mean – at all, but some people just take high school with them, I guess," Rachel shrugged awkwardly again before realizing she was still holding the brownies and setting them gingerly down on the table.

Quinn deflated slightly during Rachel's explanation and sunk back into her chair. "Great. I transfer to get away from shit like that and end up in more of it here…of course it would be just my luck."

Rachel looked sympathetic and slightly guilty at scaring the new girl before rushing to say, "You might get along really well, I'm kind of a an…acquired taste, I suppose (Quinn almost choked on her spit at this point but managed to keep it together), but maybe they'll like you!"

Quinn quirked an eyebrow at her and Rachel deflated slightly herself. "Yeah, maybe not, they're kind of evil demons from hell, but you never know."

At this Quinn did choke before bursting out laughing as Rachel slapped a hand over her mouth. "Oh my god, I can't believe I just said that. Pretend it didn't happen!" she flushed bright red as she slowly took her hand away and Quinn continued to laugh.

"Oh my god. No, that was kind of the impression I got when I met them earlier," Quinn managed once she had calmed down a bit more. "Or, at least, that I wasn't really wanted here, except I can't really blame them for that, seeing as how all of us only found out about this arrangement yesterday, and – "

"You just found out yesterday?" Rachel seemed appalled as her mouth fell open. "I was wondering why I only overheard them talking about you last night, they're usually vocal about _everything_ and suddenly getting a random roommate didn't seem like something they would fail to complain about from the very start..."

"Wait…they were complaining?" it was Quinn's turn to interrupt with a slight grimace and Rachel looked horrified.

"Oh no, I'm so sorry, I do this thing where I word vomit when I'm nervous or just ever actually and I tend to just keep talking or saying things I really shouldn't I'm really sorry –" she began to ramble again but Quinn cut her off with a smile and a hand.

"No, it's okay, I do it too sometimes," she laughed slightly. "And honestly I'd always rather know, I hate it when people talk behind your back and think they can just get away with it, just...ugh."

Rachel took a deep breath before letting it out. "Yeah, me too," she admitted quietly. Quinn frowned but didn't feel like she knew Rachel well enough to push, even though she desperately wanted to. People didn't just clam up like that for no reason…well. This was what she was a psych major for. Save it for the classroom, Quinn.

"Anyway…well, I'm really glad you came over," Quinn said tentatively, afraid that things had gotten too awkward and ruined the moment.

"Oh, good, I'm glad!" Rachel shook her head as if to clear it and then directed a genuine smile in Quinn's direction. "It was really nice to meet you."

Quinn flushed despite herself and then realized she should nod or something instead of just smiling stupidly – and so she did as Rachel made to stand.

"Um – do you want to get food later?" she burst out as Rachel turned to head towards the door. "I mean…I'm sure you have other friends, and stuff, but if you wanted to…or not, I mean I'm sure –"

"Quinn!" Rachel stopped her mid ramble with a deep belly laugh that secured Quinn's crush completely before she said, "I'd love to. I can stop back by around…six? That'll give you a few more hours to get settled in."

"Yeah, that sounds great," Quinn nodded, trying to stop her face from flushing again and gave Rachel another small smile. "I guess I'll…see you then."

"Yes, you will," Rachel grinned and then walked the few more steps to the door before letting herself out.

The door shut with a loud click and Quinn immediately crashed back down into the chair she had been occupying only moments before with a huge sigh.

"Oh fuck."

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><p><strong>AN** Okay, for those of you who read my last story know what updates aren't always super prompt but I'm going to try really hard with this one. There'll be more backstory for both of the girls in the next chapter or so... Let me know what you think so far!


	2. is this how it's supposed to go?

**A/N**: anddd here we go! managed to get this out more quickly than I thought, not entirely sure what I think of it but this is still only the beginning, so...

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><p>As Quinn attempted to unpack more of her stuff before dinner, all she could do was mull over how she could be entirely sure she had a crush on someone she'd only met two hours before. This was only the second girl Quinn had ever had a genuine crush on. The first had lived on her floor freshman year of college and boy, had that been a disaster. To say that first loves are miserable was an understatement. The fact that she had just been coming to terms with her sexuality, doing so in an environment where being gay was <em>not<em> in fact okay, as well as not having a single living chance in hell to be with the girl of her dreams because she liked someone else, Quinn had been quite the mess for the entirety of the past year year.

Not necessarily something great to base the outcome of a second crush on.

"Ouch," Quinn hissed and then whimpered as she managed to give herself yet _another_ paper cut on a box she was opening. Who's bright idea had it been to pack things in boxes? Oh right, her mother's, when she sent three boxes of things Quinn would never need or want across the country.

The rap that came on the door a second later caused Quinn to yelp before her eyes snapped to the clock. Shit, how had it gotten so late so fast?

"Coming!" she yelled before dropping the offending box and shoving her feet into her flats. She really needed a new wardrobe because pale flats just did not go with her dark blue hoodie and jeans. With one more shake of the messy blond hair around her face, Quinn hurried to the door and Rachel's smiling face.

It hit her all over again how freaking adorable she was.

…Before simultaneously remembering that she _had_ to stop staring whenever Rachel appeared at the door because her new acquaintance was going to think she was insanely social awkward.

Oh wait. Maybe that's because she absolutely was.

"Hey," Quinn cleared her throat and tried to put on a normal smile as she shut the door behind her.

"Hi! How'd the rest of unpacking go?" Rachel asked with a bright grin as they headed down the stairs.

"Eh, lots of paper cuts and not enough productivity," Quinn frowned as she lifted her wounded finger to inspect it again.

"Oh my gosh, Quinn, are you okay?" Rachel asked frantically as Quinn's eyes widened when she found her finger bleeding somewhat profusely.

"Um, I mean…I think so? I thought so? How did that even happen without me noticing?" Qunn started rambling again as she tried to figure out how best to deal with said injury. Too much blood to suck on it. Too much blood to discreetly wipe it on her jeans…plus Rachel had already seen it so no need to be discreet. Umm…

"Thank goodness I always come prepared with first aid," Rachel muttered to herself as she whipped out a small box containing gauze, tape, antibiotic cream, band-aids…the works, apparently. Wait, where did that even come from? Was she Mary Poppins? WHY did this girl make her think so much?

Quinn had no choice but to hold out her hand as Rachel set to work securing the cut with a band-aid practically the size of Quinn's entire hand. As soon as Rachel's hand was holding hers, she could practically feel her skin humming with nerves and a slight tingle of pleasure. This was getting ridiculous. You're bleeding, Fabray. Get yourself together.

"Thanks," Quinn mumbled quietly as Rachel released her hand again and stuffed the box back into her coat pocket.

"Of course," Rachel replied, her lips quirking up slightly on the right side before she spun away to head back down the stairs. She turned her head slightly to make sure Quinn was following. "Ready for real this time?"

Quinn nodded and then followed after the shorter girl, being particularly careful not to catch her foot and fall on the stairs. It didn't seem likely that Rachel had any first aid items to deal with bodies flying down the stairs…but on the other hand, Quinn really didn't want to find out.

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><p>The dining hall was a bit of a shock after being alone in the room all day, and aside from just that…there were so many girls. Girls and only girls, everywhere.<p>

Now, Quinn was pretty sure she was past her gay panic but the second she saw two girls sitting together, one with an arm around the other, an entirely unexpected blush hit her face with such force that she jerked a little bit. Rachel glanced at her in concern before seeming to notice her pink cheeks a second later. She glanced back at what she (correctly) guessed had caught Quinn's attention and her brow creased into a frown.

"Um, I'm just…going to go make a salad. Want to sit at that table over there when you've gotten your food?" Rachel gestured towards a table off to the left, away from the main food area and Quinn managed to nod before Rachel turned away to presumably get food. As the heat began to fade from her face Quinn realized that Rachel's friendly demeanor had dimmed slightly, causing her to silently panic. Maybe Rachel had decided she really was too weird to hang out with. Maybe "making a salad" was simply an excuse to ditch Quinn and never come back. Oh no. Maybe she'd get lost in this cafeteria forever and never be able to leave and what happened when she had to pee? She guessed she wouldn't starve but what did that really matter if she couldn't use the bathroom, and –

Someone's shoulder slammed into her from the right and Quinn was jerked out of her head as pasta sauce began to run down her arm, along with some noodles that stuck to her here and there as everything dripped towards the floor.

"Oh my god, I'm SO sorry!" a stunning blonde a few inches taller than Quinn burst out with a look of horror, promptly placing her tray on the edge of the counter next to them.

"N-no, it's totally fine," Quinn tried to stutter out, the blush coming back full force.

"I feel so badly, here wait let me get a napkin or something," the girl continued to speak as she quickly grabbed a napkin from the next table and tried to dab at Quinn's arm.

It might've been the shock at more new people interacting with her. It might've been the fact that this girl was hot as hell and actually talking to/touching Quinn. Now that Quinn had at least come to terms internally with the fact that she was gay, she couldn't ignore her attraction to certain women as well as she used to be able to anymore…and it still made her uncomfortable. It might've been the fact that Rachel definitely seemed to have abandoned her, as she was still nowhere in sight. It may simply have been the fact that she was now the idiot covered in pasta sauce in the very center of the dining hall, but whatever it was, Quinn started to cry.

Even in her head it seemed ridiculous. Quinn never cried unless she was alone, and even in those cases it was rare and when she had absolutely reached her breaking point.

And now not only was she crying in public but she was crying in front of a really, really hot girl. Great. Just great. She might as well get into the stupid box she cut her stupid hand off and just ship herself back to stupid Ohio.

Stupid.

"Quinn!" Rachel's voice rang out through the din of noise around her, reaching out to grasp her shoulder just as Quinn opened the eyes she had been squeezing shut. "What happened?"

The hot girl seemed to look more apologetic than ever, despite the slight confusion on her face at Quinn's sudden tears.

"I'm so, so sorry, I just didn't see her," the girl rushed to say as she handed over the napkin to Rachel, albeit without much of a choice as Rachel had held her hand out for it the second she arrived.

"It-it's okay," Quinn sniffled, trying to brush the tears out of her eyes without moving her pasta covered arm and getting it all over more of her.

And then Rachel was in front of her, wiping her tears away and taking a few more napkins to clean her off as hot girl apologized again and then moved away when it was apparent that Rachel had taken over.

"Hey, it's okay," Rachel whispered as she managed to get off most of sauce that hadn't soaked in off of Quinn's sweatshirt.

"Yeah, I know, I don't know…I have no idea why I'm crying right now, I _never_ do this," Quinn emphasized, still blinking away tears but beginning to feel slightly less like the world was falling apart.

Rachel laughed quietly. "Being in an unfamiliar place when it feels like no one else is going through the same thing is overwhelming," she assured Quinn, who managed to nod. She suddenly longed to tell Rachel that that wasn't just it, but as soon as the words had begun to climb up her throat it felt like all the air was gone and she was forced to swallow them again.

"Come on, let's go try and get this out before it stains," Rachel tugged gently at the sweatshirt sleeve before her eyes glanced up to Quinn's before quickly moving away again.

Quinn could only nod again and allow herself to be guided towards the door with Rachel's gentle hand resting on her back. The subtle pressure felt more comforting than anything else this time, and Quinn breathed a silent sigh of relief that her body was letting her off the hook this time.

Until Rachel brushed her bangs away from her face and they stepped out into the early evening, the lights from the dining hall hitting her just so, and –

Quinn wanted to cry all over again. Instead, she only clenched the fists she hadn't realized her hands had turned into even tighter before taking a deep breath and following Rachel back into their dorm.


	3. who knew spaghetti could lead to this

**Author's note: **THANK YOU to everyone who's favorited or followed me/this story, i'm so sorry about the wait. This may not be perfect/I know it's short, but I really wanted to get something out to you guys. I'll do my best to be quicker, but I don't want to make promises I can't keep. I'll aim to update again next week, which is crazy talk for me but I appreciate everyone who reads and want to try and be better for you. I WILL TRY SO HARD. thank you for reading, please please comment I love hearing from everyone!

word count: 980

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><p>It felt like an eternity before the elevator reached the third floor, and it took all of Quinn's strength not to just bolt back to her room and lock herself inside forever. Instead, she followed Rachel to her room and waited not-so-patiently while she fished around in her never ending pocket for her keys and then unlocked the door.<p>

As the light flicked on, Quinn muffed a gasp at the sheer amount of gold that shone back. There was a gold star directly above Rachel's bed, as well as what seemed to be every corner of the double that appeared to only be inhabited by rachel.

"You have this all to yourself?" Quinn managed to get out once she was no longer blinded by all the shimmering.

Rachel gave her a smile with something Quinn couldn't quite place behind it as she shrugged out of her coat.

"Yes, well...res life said they were having some difficulties with numbers, or beds, or...something," she shrugged, turning away from Quinn for a moment and when she turned back she had a somewhat overly enthusiastic smile on her face. "Anyway! Here, let me see your sweatshirt before the sauce really sets, I know I have some stain stick around here somewhere..."

As Rachel wandered into her bathroom and began opening and shutting things with loud bangs, Quinn delicately got herself out of her sweatshirt to as not to make an even bigger mess before sitting down on Rachel's...well, what seemed to be Rachel's main bed. She bit her lip, trying to decide if she should be offering to help or waiting for just Rachel when a set of pictures next to Rachel's pillow caught her eye.

The first was so _clearly_ Rachel as a toddler that Quinn almost burst out laughing; behind her were two men, one laughing uproariously as the second had his face smushed up dramatically as baby Rachel reached for his nose with a tiny fist and a full grin. The same two men were in the second photo, pushing Rachel on a swing, and it wasn't until the third picture where a middle school aged RAchel was picking apples with the taller man that Quinn did a double take and realized...

Rachel had two fathers.

Rachel emerged from her bathroom, stain stick in hand and a triumphant smile on her face just in time to see Quinn tear her very wide eyes away from the photos next to Rachel's bed. The stain stick fell limply to Rachel's side, as did her smile as Quinn's reaction became clear.

So she had been right. Quinn's demeanor upon entering the cafeteria hadn't been Rachel's imagination - Quinn actually had a problem with gay people. Why in god's name you'd go to a school like Smithson if you couldn't deal with some diversity was beyond Rachel, but that was kind of besides the point right now. Rachel couldn't help the pang of anxiety in her chest at the thought that not only did that mean Quinn had a problem with Rachel's family...but Quinn had a problem with Rachel too.

"Found it," Rachel said, her voice monotonous as her insides struggled to be both uncomfortable and angry all at once.

"Oh, great," Quinn spoke up, her voice wavering ever so slightly. When Rachel simply continued to stand there, Quinn's forehead wrinkled in what seemed to be confusion. "Umm..."

"Do you have a problem with my parents?" Rachel finally managed to get out, her voice a bit stronger this time.

Quinn's forehead wrinkled even more. "Wait...what?"

"I said, do you have a _problem_ with my parents?" Rachel repeated more forcefully, dropping the tube down on her bookcase with a smack. "Because I have to tell you, I don't associate with people who fail to respect my parents, or me, OR who are narrow minded about the world around them, and - "

"What? No, Rachel, stop!" Quinn cut her off, the last word punctuated loudly. As the room fell silent, the flush on Quinn's face became more pronounced. "No. I don't...have a problem with your...dads."

"Then what is it? I saw your reaction to people in the cafeteria, and just now looking at the pictures, so what is it?" Rachel threw up her hands, frustrated beyond belief at this...this annoyingly beautiful-yet-bigot of a girl (and always one for dramatics, she thought begrudgingly.)

Quinn's face was absolutely beet red at this point as she struggled to form the words in her head.

"I just - girls - oh fuck," Quinn stuttered, her legs jumping up and down slightly as her head fell onto her hands balanced on her knees. "Oh god. Okay. I - I like girls."

Rachel could only blink as the silence stretched following Quinn's confession. Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew words would be nice right now and that if Quinn only knew how rare it was for her to be _silent_ that she might be a little bit more impressed, but she didn't know anything about Rachel and Rachel didn't know anything about Quinn which was probably a good lesson to learn right about now...but that was only background noise, as her foremost thought was simply that - Quinn liked girls.

She was a girl. She wondered if Quinn realized.

Wait, what?

It was right around that ridiculous train of thought that Quinn's increasingly panicked face prompted Rachel to shake herself out of it and remember yes, words. Words were helpful. She loved words.

"You...you do?" was still all she could manage, but the timidly hesitant way in which she said it seemed to immediately seemed to put Quinn at least at some ease.

"Yeah, I do," Quinn echoed back, her cheeks flushing again slightly, but it soon began to fade this time.

"I...oh," Rachel said haltingly, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. "Well, this is awkward."


End file.
